It seems everyone, everywhere is shouting about their self care routine, the importance of self care, and how it's really trending. There's 22.4 million #selfcare tags on IG alone. But it's not new, folks. Influencers have just found a way to make it pretty and profit off the hashtag. So let's forget about *their* version of the new, trendy, self-care status and ground ourselves in true caring for our entire being and self.
I'll admit, through my own worksheets and live wheels, I'm sitting at a (generous) 4. I told you, I'm in the trenches of this journey with you, and I wasn't lying. As women, and especially mothers, we tend to push ourselves to the "back burner". Our needs become less important as we care to the needs around us. I've spent years with my house looking amazing, my kid dressed to the nines, and my husband looking pulled together and presentable while I walk around resembling what can only be described as Britany 2007.
Have I washed my hair in the last 3 days? Probably not. Nice, clean clothes? Reserved for Husband and kid apparently.
Am I lazy? Sloppy? Disgusting? Having a mental breakdown of BS07 proportions? No (at least I don't think on that last one haha) There's simply just too many things to do and not enough hours. Everything always gets pushed ahead of my OWN list of needs, because that's what we do. But what happens, after years of this? After years of putting yourself, your needs, your health, your emotions, your desires, everything about you, dead last on the list?
You start to slip away.
That feeling, that lost, empty, horrible feeling of not even remembering (or perhaps even knowing in the first place) of who *I* am, of celebrating, supporting, and showing up for my own soul is what lead me here, sharing this crawl out of the hole with you all. So many of you are feeling that rocky bottom on your feet too, and desperately searching for somewhere to grip and starting rising out of that place. That's what this year is going to be about. It's not really about a new decade, a brand new year, or even a diet, or a routine. It's about refusing to let yourself slip away. It's about RISING and showing the world you are to be celebrated in all your quirky amazingness. It's showing the little eyes that are watching your every move that YOU think you are important too, so that will grow up knowing how to care for themselves as well. Everything we do here is rooted in self care. From massages to money management, relationships to retirement plans... it all circles back to taking care of yourself.
Personal wellness is a constant process of evolving and growing. This journey will take many forms and transformations this year, and for the rest of your years.
We are going to spend the next 8 weeks breaking "Self-Care" down. And down some more, and then down again. And we are going to not only evaluate how we are doing in those areas now, but what can we create, cultivate, and instill in our daily routines and habits so that we are always supporting our best self; mind, body, and soul.
I don't want any of you slipping away, feeling like your days have little purpose. I don't want you living the life of waking up and just surviving until it's time to sleep again, and repeating for decades and calling that a life. I don't want that for me, and I don't want that for you.
When some hear the word self care, they picture someone (usually a woman, ironically) laying in a towel with a cream face mask, cucumbers over their eyes, hair in a towel wrap, day at the spa, pampered. Self care is NOT self-pampering. Do I recommend a once a week pamper session? Hell yeah. But hash-tagging a photo of you at the salon while someone rubs your feet and paints your toes #selfcaresaturday ✌🏻 does not equate true self-care.
That pampering doesn't do anything for the whisper of your soul, get you off to a good start in the day, provide energy and focus for your day, help you let go of emotional wounds, bring awareness to your heart, ground you in nature, or give you any knowledge. It doesn't bring you any peace, or tell the world much about who you are. It doesn't give your children a respect for their own body and soul. There's nothing WRONG with what I classify as "vanity pampering", and I don't mean vanity in a negative connotation here; but it's appearance support, little more. Let's peel back more layers than that.
Self-care doesn't have to take a lot of time out of your day, or be some huge thing you have to commit to and dread taking the time for each day. I don't want you creating this elaborate "looks good on paper" routine you have hanging over your head each day, making you feel like a failure for putting off because you.are.tired. Weave the habits, self check-ins, energy checks, etc into the very fabric of your life in a way that you and anyone around you has no choice but to accept as the new (improved) normal.
We'll start with Physical and Physiological first, to help stay in alignment with intentions for the new year. Get a couple realistic goals and action plans in place for those intentions, and really sort out here the pampering vs the nurturing. We'll dig even DEEPER into the physical and physiological side in a couple of months when our focus moves to health, but this one is so multi-faceted and in tune with the new year it's the perfect place to start.
If you haven't completed your life wheel yet, click here to be taken to that post for the download. This wheel is the basis of our entire year, so don't miss this one. Tomorrow we start discussing intent and action in our physical self care on a daily basis in small ways and big ones! What does physical self care mean to you?